Wednesday 20/12/2023
This city is full of strange contradictions, mixing death with life and transforming scenes of death to a cinematic piece devoid of pleasure. But the viewer is unable to look away despite its cruelty.
This city is full of strange contradictions, mixing death with life and transforming scenes of death to a cinematic piece devoid of pleasure. But the viewer is unable to look away despite its cruelty. You try to shield yourself from the overwhelming pressure of hearing the news that someone was martyred or injured, from the sounds of terrifying tales and the scenes you see every hour.
Yesterday I went to the market and on my way back from Rafah to the European Hospital, the bus driver did not want to hear the news and he decided to turn on music. The driver was humorous, he lit his cigarette and said I want to die this way, I do not care about anything and I am happy with the life I lived so far. Al lot of people tried to sell him diesel but his answer was always that he is ready to provide diesel and sell it with prices less than the market.
The bus was like Aladdin’s lamp, it transported us from an atmosphere full of death to our memories of trips in buses listening to music with friends and fighting over who will put on their favorite song first. It took me to memories of going with my brother’s car at night to Gaza’s beach. That same car was not saved from the bombardment either.
This made me think whether what I am doing in this bus means I am disrespecting people’s pain and mine, but we all share this pain. I want the aggression on Gaza to stop and for me to take a hot shower without anyone knocking on the door while I’m inside. I want to lay down in my bed and have a deep sleep and free myself of my clothes under the blanket. I want to wake up whenever I want without the sounds of screams. I hate destruction and my message to the world is that those who commit massacres against us should throw themselves into the garbage bin because they know what they are doing in their dark path.
But everything in our world is incomplete. I was wrong to think that my day will be complete in the eyes of the driver, but time was enough to turn things around . After the evening prayer and near the shelter school close to the hospital, a house was bombed and 60 people were martyred while tens were injured from those sheltering in tents next to Al Fukhari school, all in one minute.
December 20
